I’m looking up charts, punching in numbers, tracking the sales of each item for sale, working really hard so there are no errors - wait a minute, for what and whom am I doing this for? I find myself questioning what I oh-so-diligently do at work, day in and day out, and time and time again I arrive at the thought of “I can’t keep working this hard for someone else’s assets, it doesn’t make sense! Time is the only “substance” given equally to all of us who are living breathing at this very moment, why should any one undermine their time and give it up to someone else..? Steve Jobs’ words keep circling my thoughts: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” “No” has circled my thoughts for too long. The harder I work for someone else, the less sense it makes. The last time I felt and thought this way was when I was in my 3rd year of Microbiology at UBC, and I wanted to switch to pursuing fashion design, that year, I didn’t even look back and think of completing the 4th year to receive my Bachelor of Science degree, I just applied for Fashion Design at Ryerson, and away I went.
I think the same dilemma has revealed itself, and this time it could mean a break from the system of clocking in, clocking out.
As I sit at my cubicle at work, I wonder what will I do for myself to make a change? Am I just going to sit here and type away emails, sending off comments, and breathe day to day until the weekend approaches, and then relax for two days, and then hit the pavement again (literally, as I actively participate in the consumption of the Gardiner non-Express Monday to Friday.)? Why am I sitting here? What’s the purpose of my sending an email that comments on fabric colours saying “white looks dirty, please make clean”…(some of you might be thinking, the purpose of sending the comment is to make the white fabric clean. Well, then you’re very literal.) It’s been a year since I started this blog, I said to myself at that point I’d write an entry a day, so mathematically speaking, there should be at least 365 entries on this blog…but there isn’t. In fact, I’m 339 entries short of 365. (I just did that math in my head…good to know I haven’t lost touch of my Asian math roots.) Do I catch up? Or do I start from thought 1 of year 2013? (Not to mention it’s already May, and it feels like it was just yesterday that we all celebrated the new year.) Would it be ok if I just carried on?…I think I’ll just carry on. Build on what I had already started. Here comes commitment - my goal for this year is to make a difference. And to start, let’s make a difference starting with myself.
Today I received an email from a client, and her remarks were “I just wanted to let you know I LOVE the products!”
That says it all. There’s nothing more rewarding than receiving an email such as this to confirm the hard work that’s been put in after countless hours. It puts a smile on my face, and makes all the other low and hard times worth while. If I had given up at the first sight of an obstacle, I probably would have never come close to receiving such great news from a client. To those that are considering giving up, don’t. Because there’s usually an up after the downs, and the rewards of an up really washes out the downs, and it truly reminds you of WHY you started your endeavors. Keep going, because someone, somewhere out there, will reaffirm your actions and conviction.